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Book Review: F.U.B.B by Daniel Volpe, Candace Nola, and Jasper Bark (Dark Tide Horror Novellas Book 14)

F.U.B.B. by Daniel Volpe, Candace Nola, and Jasper Bark (Dark Tide Horror Novellas Book 14)

Crystal Lake Publishing, 2024

ISBN: 9781957133928

Available: Paperback, Kindle edition

Buy: Amazon.com

 

 

If you’re going to title a book F*cked Up Beyond Belief, you had better back it up.  And man, do they ever in this one.  These three hardcore novellas are exactly that: blood-drenched gorefests, with excellent stories and writing to boot.  These are like Eli Roth films, the main difference being these actually have good plots and are addicting to read.  Let’s look at the basics, shall we?

 

“Church of the Splatter Spray Saints” is a crazed take on modern tent-pole revivals, although the basic theme fits with some real-life ones, like ‘screwing the people for fun and profit (mainly profit).’  In this case, the revival is run by organized crime, and they have a sentient virus to contend with that may bring the whole house down.  For a horror novella, it has a fairly intricate plot, and all the pieces fit perfectly.  Body parts fly and pain abounds as people pay to witness voluntary suicides, all in the name of worshipping the Blood.  Totally screwed up, and totally fun.

 

“Double Feature” is my personal favorite.  Combine a typical Friday night at a hick town drive-in with a group of redneck nuts somewhat resembling the lunatics from the movie Wrong Turn, and you have a story, and a  very well written one it is.  A good setup and absolutely breakneck pace keep this one firing till the end.  It’s frightening to think of any people actually being like the antagonists in this one: they have absolutely no remorse for the warped things they do.  And, their motive?  Money.  The best part is that author Candace Nola excels in misdirection.  Every time you expect the story to zig, it zags instead, right to the hilariously ironic ending.

 

“The Chatter of the Night Bugs”: is an agonizing story of “white trash”, snuff films, and black magic.  Fair warning: this one is the most difficult to read of the three. The torture sequences are brutal, made all the worse by the fact that you care about the victim in this one.  However, payback is a wonderful thing, and old mountain magic provides the means for punishing the evildoers a hundred times over, in the form of bugs, and… something else.  This was a creative take on old Appalachian legends.  Revenge has never been sweeter than in this story.

 

The ol’ bottom line? This book should win some sort of award for best horror story collection this year.  For horror fans in general, and gorehounds in particular, this is a can’t miss.  Highly recommended (to those with a strong stomach, that is).

 

 

Reviewed by Murray Samuelson

 

Posted on June 18, 2024 by , Reply

Book Review: String Them Up by William Sterling

Cover art for String Them Up by William Sterling

String Them Up, by William Sterling

Crystal Lake Publishing, 2023

ISBN: 9781957133591

Available: Hardcover, paperback, Kindle edition

Buy: Bookshop.org |  Amazon.com

 

For horror fans, books like this are cotton candy for the brain.  There’s nothing especially memorable in the story, but there’s enough in the 158 pages for the equivalent of a quick sugar rush.  It’s pure entertainment, enough to make reading it worth it. Think back to the 80s, when there were a LOT of horror books published that were uuite enjoyable, if not especially original, and you get the idea (although since then, the average page count has gone down and the sticker price has come up. Readers with Kindle Unlimited are in luck if they want to check it out).

 

Speed synopsis: a cop loses his family in a tragic accident, moves to a small town with secrets in its past,, joins the police force with old friend, messy murders happen, and mayhem ensuest.  The End.

 

There’s enough spice thrown in the story mix of this for the reader to keep the pages flipping:: one poor fellow is found hung in a tree by his torn out ligaments and tendons. The toymaker, an eccentric hermit, is the standout character, although the other players carry their parts fine in the narrative.  The best part is undoubtedly the dolls that appear throughout the book, whether they are hanging in trees or dismembering people.  Dolls are always creepy when used correctly, and the author uses them very well. They add a nice touch of cold air to the book, enough to make your skin crawl a bit.  And, when the dolls go to work on people with fishhooks and line… (shudders and hides under the covers)  Toss in a dose of small town politics and secrets and a dash of crystal meth, and you have a quick, entertaining read that is worth the few hours of time needed for the investment.

 

Bottom line: this won’t shatter your senses, but it will keep you involved and get the job done.  It’s worth a look.

 

Reviewed by Murray Samuelson

Posted on January 31, 2024 by , Reply

Book Review: Hell’s Gulf by Nick Carlson

 

Hell’s Gulf by Nick Carlson

Temple Dark Publications, 2022

ISBN: 9781739749200

Available: Paperback, Kindle edition

Buy:  Bookshop.org | Amazon.com 

 

If you’re going to vacation on the Florida Coast at a place called Hell’s Gulf, you probably should expect weirdness, and that’s exactly what the reader gets.  Latrine lizards that bite people’s bottoms, deranged murder dolphins, intelligent sand crabs… the gang’s all here.  Throw in a couple demons/gods from Caribbean and Irish folklore, plus a pool that functions as a sort of portal, and you have the ultimate inspirational place for young aspiring writer Rowan Vane.  As he soon finds, inspiration can be deadly.

 

The story hums along as Rowan’s family settles on the Gulf for a week-long vacation, because it is all they can afford.  Naturally, the locals are eclectic, and distrustful of outsiders, hiding the secrets of the town’s sordid past, secrets that continue to plague them in the present day. 

 

This isn’t a new plotline by any stretch, but it still works, as Carlson has written in an entertaining fashion. The combination of strange creatures and  colorful locals is enough of an infusion into a familiar plot to keep the reader’s interest, even if the story can be predictable at times. 

 

The part of the book that really shines the brightest is the supporting cast.  Rowan, as a protagonist,  isn’t particularly inspiring or interesting, but the other characters lend more than enough support to make up for him.  The Clermont family, consisting of an old Caribbean hoodoo woman and her two obnoxious twentysomething sons, are the best part of the book and are the most believable: they truly convey the feeling of a small, backwards, swampy town.  Other locals, such as Large Marge, also lend a hand. This is one of those books where the true stars are the setting and the people that dwell there: the stage itself is the true star of the play.    

 

Bottom line: this is a fun read, nothinlg breathtaking, but still enjoyable.  It will be interesting to see if the author revisits Hell’s Gulf and writes a story focusing strictly on the town and its denizens.  Based on this book, they would have plenty to support a story all of their own.

 

Reviewed by Murray Samuelson.

Posted on August 1, 2023 by , Reply
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