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Authors: Show Some Respect, PLEASE!

If you are thinking of requesting a review from us, and especially if you are a self-published author, please read this from beginning to end.

As you know if you’ve followed this blog for long enough, I don’t get paid for the time and effort I put into running this blog. My reviewers are also volunteers– that means they don’t get paid for the time and effort they put in to reading and reviewing here. They are an awesome group of people who really, truly, love the horror genre and want to share it and make it available to readers, not just by recommending them to individuals, but by recommending them to libraries.

Committed, knowledgeable, reviewers don’t appear out of thin air. I can’t summon them from a demon dimension. Sometimes I get lucky and they find me. And recently, my mom recruited her next door neighbor (no, that is not a joke). The first book he offered to review was so poorly formatted that there were actual pages missing. The second had so many spelling and grammar errors that it was hard for him to finish reading it. This is the kind of thing that makes reviewers want to quit before they even really get started. Remember, we’re not getting paid to do this.  It is embarrassing to the author to send out work that hasn’t been edited. Spellcheck is not enough. Do you really want to put out less than your best? Here we are honest about what we review, and if you haven’t put the effort in, please don’t waste our time. We are not an editing service.

Let’s take this a step further. Do you know what happens when one of your reviewers lives next door to your parents? He talks to them about it, and tells them how poorly it was edited. Then I get to listen to my dad tell me how poorly written horror fiction is and how it’s all written by hacks, and how unfathomable it is that I would waste my time promoting such crappy writing by someone who can’t even bother to do more than run their book through spellcheck. It gives the genre a black eye, and his impression now is that what I’m doing here is not worth respect.

When I worked in a public library, customer service training was a big thing. One thing I learned at that time is that every person who has a negative experience tells approximately 10 other people, and those people are likely to repeat it as well. That was way before social media existed. Now if someone has a crummy experience, they can put it on Facebook, or write about it on their blog, or share it on Twitter. With a click of a button,  someone can share an opinion with an awful lot of people. Be glad my dad is not on social media or active in the horror community.

Perhaps you’re thinking that my writing isn’t perfect, either. Well, right now, nobody is paying me to do it. And I do mean nobody. The site has made a total of $11 this year– not even enough to cover hosting fees.

When someone asks us to review their book, they are asking for me not just to give them free publicity, but actually to pay to publicize their book (since obviously nobody else is contributing, and I am still paying for postage and hosting fees and WORKING FOR NOTHING).

So, authors, if you plan to request a review, please do everyone a favor and show some respect to yourself, your work, reviewers, review sites, me, and the horror genre. Get your book edited, preferably by a professional. I am personally putting myself on the line to promote the genre to your potential readers, and I would prefer NOT to hear negativity about something I spend a lot of time doing FOR OTHER PEOPLE at family Sunday dinners.

I know there are authors out there who work and work and work on editing, and go back and fix mistakes when those are pointed out. I have the utmost respect for them. If you aren’t one of those people who is willing to spend the time fixing errors and tightening your writing, get an editor. In our Author FAQ we say “an objective third party”.  If you aren’t willing to do either of those things, you’re not ready to publish your book, and you’re not ready to submit it for review.

Read our Author FAQ if you have any additional questions about what you can submit and what information we need for me to send on your request for review. Thank you for taking the time and effort with your writing to show your respect for yourself, horror reviewers, and horror readers.

 

 

Posted on September 13, 2016 by , Reply

Read to Survive! Monster Librarian’s Horror Movie Survival Guide

 

 Read To Survive! Monster Librarian’s Horror Movie Survival Guide.

 

As editor of Monster Librarian, I was recently challenged to come up with a list of things I’d    want to take with me if I was suddenly dropped into a horror movie. The only restriction      was that the items would have to fit in a crate. I’m a reader, and a trained librarian, so my   first instinct is to suggest The The Horror Movie Survival Guide Movie Survival Guide, because that would have all kinds of great strategies for making it through (we have a similar list, The Shocklines Horror Movie Survival Guide, on our site). However, chances are that while I consulted the book, I’d probably be the #1 victim for taking my eyes off my surroundings. Fortunately, I have a fabulous and knowledgeable group of reviewers, and they’ve seen LOTS of horror movies. If I had to go, I’d want to take them with me, and I’m sure they wouldn’t leave me behind so they could escape. Right, guys?

 

Unfortunately, I can’t fit them in a crate. So I asked them what they would take, if it happened to them. They’re a very practical group. After wishful thoughts of distracting the creature(s) by sending members of Congress, or sending John Constantine instead, there was majority agreement that if you couldn’t get reception on your fully charged cell phone to call for rescue, it would be great to have a full canteen of water, so you don’t dehydrate, and plenty of energy bars, to keep you fueled with more than adrenaline. Also, comfortable running shoes are essential, (since chances are you’ll be doing a lot of running). There was debate over whether it’s better to take a working flashlight, a lighter, or candles with waterproof matches (in case the batteries in the flashlight die, after you’ve been running for your life for days on end), but I think it makes sense to take them all. Candle flames don’t shed much light, but you can’t make a fire with a flashlight, and a lighter won’t work if it gets soaked. As one reviewer noted, with good shoes and plenty of light, you’re much less likely to trip and fall (like everyone does). And there are so many reasons you might need to set a fire. Did I say set a fire? I meant light a fire.

Ash with his chainsaw and boomstick.
Found at fridaythe13th.wikia.com

 

And, of course, as one reviewer put it, “you’ve got to have weapons”. Popular suggestions included a machete, a knife, a sword, a chainsaw (“handy for cutting through things that go bump in the night”, according to another reviewer) an automatic weapon with extra ammo, and a “boomstick”, (the double-barreled shotgun Ash uses in Army of Darkness). I’d add a stake to that list, as well, since sometimes only wood will do, and a silver bullet for that boomstick, just in case you have to deal with a conventional werewolf.

 

While some of these might not fit in the crate, one reviewer suggested that you could always wear them to save room for other things that would. It was also mentioned that night vision goggles would be very helpful to weapon wielders in the dark. It’s true, you can’t really hold a flashlight or candle while flailing around with a chainsaw, and you want to make every bullet count. While I wouldn’t necessarily consider it the most effective of weapons, I liked the suggestion of a Swiss Army knife—it may have a tiny blade in comparison to some of the previously named weapons, but it does have one, and its many other tools could come in handy. It’s small, so it won’t take up much room, and it can be carried in your pocket.

It also might be the only thing listed here that I wouldn’t actually hurt myself with.

Weapons are not my thing, and in a horror movie, Murphy’s Law is multiplied times a dozen, at least.

 

I should note here that this challenge was issued to us by Man Crates, a company that ships gift sets in crates that must be opened using a crowbar. The crowbar is included, so assuming that our crate is coming from her, we’d have one of those to arm ourselves with as well. A crowbar could be quite useful in times of peril.

 

If you’re in the kind of movie where the monster is impervious to mere weapons (although it’s hard for me to imagine anything being unaffected by a chainsaw), you’ll want a selection of religious or occult items that you can easily keep on you while you’re on the go. A cross might ward off evil, holy water can be an effective deterrent (you could keep it loaded in a water pistol in order to get your creature from a distance), salt can be used to contain demons, and glow-in-the-dark chalk could be used to draw a circle. Rope has many uses, including restraining victims of possession.  However, if you’re feeling loaded down by now, you could take one reviewer’s advice and “forget those religious trinkets, as you can get some off the dead”!

 

Need access to resources? Problem solved.
Found at Univ. of Arizona Harry Potter Alliance site.

Finally, I know it’s an unusual suggestion, but as a librarian, it’s obvious to me: I suggest a library card, because you never know when you’re going to need obscure reference material on religion or the occult, and as any fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Harry Potter can tell you, you can always find the necessary occult knowledge in the library’s Restricted Section. Our motto here is “Read to Survive”, and we take that very seriously.

 

Although this challenge came from Man Crates, Monster Librarian is not endorsing or advertising for them.  And, while I recognize the problematic nature of being gifted with ugly neckties, it’s not just men who get presents they don’t want and won’t use. Everyone enjoys getting a present that’s fun to open and suits their interests (I think the entertainment value of opening your present with a crowbar could be pretty awesome regardless of sex) so why limit your audience?

Of course, if you aren’t stuck in a horror movie, and a crate full of the items we listed above, or similar ones, came as a gift, there are a few practical problems with the contents. Especially if you have little kids. When the horror lover in your life opens up his survival kit to find a machete and a crossbow (and yes, I speak from personal experience here) what exactly are you supposed to do with the weaponry?

 

At Monster Librarian, we don’t accept paid advertising. We just want to provide you with honest reviews and resources about the horror genre, and we like to have fun. I have to offer Man Crates a great big thanks for what has turned out to be, for us, an entertaining Halloween treat.

 

–Contributors:  Aaron Fletcher, Benjamin Franz, Kirsten Kowaleweski, Jennifer Lawrence, Michele Lee, Lucy Lockley, Patricia Mathews, David Simms, Sheila Shedd, Colleen Wanglund, and Wendy Zazo-Phillips

 

 

 

 

Posted on October 27, 2014 by , Reply

Women in Horror Fiction: Michele Lee

Image of Michele Lee Michele Lee, one of our own book reviewers and the mind behind our teen-focused blog Reading Bites, is the author of such books as Wolf Heart (2012 Violet Ivy Press), the heartbreaking zombie novella Rot (2013 Skullvines Press), the self-published ebooks The List  (2013)  and On Halloween (a choose-your-own-path book co-written with Mini Lee). Her latest work, Last Brother, Last Sister (2014 Skullvines Press), was published earlier this month.  Michele’s short stories can be found in anthologies including Dark Futures: Tales of Dystopian SF (2011 Dark Quest) and Horror Library, Volume 4 (2012 Cutting Block Press). Michele also writes erotic fiction under the name M. Lush.

 

1. Can you give our readers a brief introduction?

My name is Michele Lee. I’m a multi-genre writer (Horror, SF/F and erotic romance), a reviewer and a vet tech by day.

 

2. Why do you write horror?  What draws you to the genre?

Way back when I was a teenager, horror was the only place you could find stories of the paranormal. Now we have urban fantasy and paranormal romance, both of which I also like, but sometimes you just want that spooky story. Also, I think a lot of the setups in horror, especially the monsters, are a powerful thematic way to deal with the darker stuff in our real lives. Violence, rape, fear of the true nature of human evil; the nameless thing that might be waiting to devour us in the dark is a perfect allegory for facing cancer, abuse, fiscal devastation and more. We can, as either writers or readers, work through and face our feelings on some Really Big Issues ™ without freezing up when the boogie man has the face of our abuser or looks like that shadow on the radiogram. And maybe, for a little bit, we can fantasize that beating cancer or a recession is as easy as staking that vampire or stopping that serial killer.

3. Can you describe your writing style or the tone you prefer to set for your stories?


The tone of my stories, I hope, is different because I really like to let characterization come through in how things are set up and described and how the characters react to things. I seem to be drawn to people working through things, maybe outside discoveries, but often things about themselves that are exposed because of things happening around them.

In my novella Rot, for example I wanted to take a typical rough/bad ass male character (stoic, former military man, zero illusions about life) and make him incredibly emotional without making him any less of a strong male lead. I also wanted to take on the “flamboyant gay” stereotype and the “damsel in distress” that you see in horror a lot and do something meaningful with them.

 

4. Who are some of your influences?  Are there any women authors who have particularly inspired you to write?


Anna Sewell, actually. My mom was really restrictive with me when it came to…everything, but she encouraged me to read Black Beauty. Maybe because it was about horses, or was a classic. But honestly it’s very brutal. You see horses die in war combat, serious cruelty to dogs, cats and horses and real world events like illnesses and alcoholism which leads to disaster for Beauty. It was the darkest book I had ever read.

An Anne Rice phase led me to the far more amazing authors Poppy Z. Brite and Nancy A. Collins, the latter of which not just writes fairly hardcore horror, but also wedged her way into comics. What geek girl doesn’t admire that?

On the male side of the spectrum, Roald Dahl, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman are all glorious masters among us plebs.

5. What authors do you like to read?  Any recommendations?


I read a lot, over many genres. If you’re comfortable being seen in the urban fantasy section, Ann Aguirre is doing great things with demons and zombies (her zombie books are YA). Stacia Kane is a favorite for sure. Ilona Andrews is an auto-buy.

As for Authors You’re Probably Missing; Sara M. Harvey and Jennifer Pelland write dark speculative fiction, K.H. Koehler, Lucy Snyder and Chesya Burke are all amazing horror authors.

 

6. Where can readers find your work?

I’m mostly in ebooks these days, so all the usually places, Amazon, B&N, Kobo, OmniLit and iBooks. I have a werewolf book out (Wolf Heart), two zombie novellas (Rot and The List) and a zombie novel that just came out (Last Brother, Last Sister). I have short stories here and there, and my erotic romance stuff is published under the pen name M. Lush.

Interested in learning more ? Check out Michele Lee’s Amazon page, this interview, her blog, or Reading Bites.

Posted on February 23, 2014 by , Reply
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