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Moms vs. Zombies

Ah, motherhood. It’s a crazy time. Under all the chaos, and even when you’re trying desperately to escape them, there’s a part of you that loves those kids no matter what, and wants to protect your children from anything that might possibly ever harm them.

So what happens at the end of the world? What does a mom do in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Do they have plans in place, just in case? I asked a whole bunch of them.

One practical mom said her plan is to head to Sam’s Club, and pick up a survivalist friend along the way. I guess it would be awhile before they ran out of supplies!

After one smart mom suggested heading to Palm Springs, several more started to plan to caravan there. In their minivans, maybe? Apparently Palm Springs only has two exits/entrances, is easily defensible, and wind powered. Only problem is, that since almost all of us live in the Midwest, those gas guzzlers would probably run out of fuel before we got there.

A surprising number(at least, surprising to me since I don’t think I’ve seen a movie in three years) had seen Zombieland and said they’d prepare with cardio. Since it’s the Midwest, it’s probably not that much of a surprise that many of them chimed in “Double Tap”!

One realistic mom said “I just stubbed my toe getting out of the shower”. She was pretty resigned to being zombie food! Another said “I am very, very smart”- meaning she’d quickly become brain food”!

One movie-watching mom said “As slow as they are in the movies, I think we could probably outrun them”! I must say, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that one!

A couple of them tracked down the zombie vaccine. Children must be immunized, you know! And several uninitiated ones headed off to track down the Zombie Survival Guide and Zombieland. And ammo. Knowledge is power, you know, and you’ve got to protect the children!

A few of them noted that their four year olds have already educated them about zombies. Add my obsessed five year old to that group. Although he seems to be moving on to cryptids, the zombies keep shuffling in.

Are moms going to survive the zombie apocalypse with their children intact? Some will… and maybe now a few more than before. Unless, as one mom who reads a lot noted, they’re Brian Keene’s zombies. In which case, when the birds get infected, we’re all doomed.

My thanks to the moms from IMLM who contributed their musings. I probably won’t survive the zombie apocalypse, but I sure hope they do!