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Book Review: Hail Santa! by John McNee

Cover art for Hail Santa! by John McNee

Hail Santa!, by John McNee

Blood Bound Books, 2024

ISBN: 9781940250601

Availabie: Paperback, Kindle edition

Buy:  Amazon.com

 

 

If you want a good holiday-themed horror story that isn’t just an excuse to have a serial killer running around (such as the films Silent Night, Deadly Night, or Black Christmas), then Hail Santa! is for you.   It’s bloody good fun (pun intended) that does a nice job combining some of the classic aspects of demon mythology with the story of Santa Claus, while managing to smash plenty of humans into pulp jelly throughout the story.  Horror fans and gorehounds alike will love this one.

 

St. Nicholas is a small, dying town in the northern Canadian woods that is given a new lease on life when a Chinese conglomerate buys up the whole town, with the plan of turning it into an upscale ski resort for the seriously wealthy skiers of the world.  However, the land was never really the town’s to sell: it’s the property of Saint Nicholas, due to a deal he (or it) made with the town’s founders centuries before, and, he isn’t happy with the idea of his town being turned into a playground for rich schussboomers.  The throttle opens up quickly on this story, as Saint Nicholas and his army of the town’s children slash and bite anything in their way, while a small and very eclectic group of adults try to stop them and save the town.

 

This isn’t just a paint-by-numbers splat-fest: there’s more under the hood when it comes to the plot.  It’s the use of demon myths that really makes the plot intriguing, such as the fact that their names wield genuine power, and that worship of them is truly important- it’s a matter of survival.  Saint Nicholas isn’t doing all this just because he’s angry: he has legitimate reasons for wreaking havoc on the town.  That all ties into what the survivors learn in their attempts to stop him, and it’s done well.  They get little clues along the way, but it takes some thinking for them to come up with a targeted plan to stop him.  It’s enough to keep the reader thinking along with the characters. You’ll have fun trying to imagine what would possibly work against the power Saint Nicholas wields.

 

The heroes in this are an extremely likable bunch.. There’s the Chinese lady responsible for the whole town project, a rookie teacher, an elderly janitor, and a couple of drunken contractors, among others.  It’s a good mix, as they have varied strengths and weaknesses, due to their backgrounds.  But, therein lies their power, as it gives them a variety of perspectives, which they need to survive, and everybody plays a vital part.  Readers will like and relate to at least some of them, and it does hurt when some of them get killed off… this isn’t an “all the good guys survive and prosper” story.  There’s also a great twist to the end of the story that takes it in a new direction: it’s much better than any standard stock ending.

 

Bottom line:  this is the perfect antidote for holiday cheer.  Recommended.

 

 

Reviewed by Murray Samuelson

 

 

Posted on April 22, 2024 by , Reply

Book Review: The Man Who Killed His Wife (and What Happened Afterward) by Wol-vriey

cover art for The Man Who KIlled His Wife (and What Happened Afterward) by Wol-vriey

 

The Man Who Killed His Wife (and What Happened Afterward) by Wol-vriey

Blood Bound Publishing, 2023

ISBN: 9781948278690

Available: Paperback, Kindle edition

Buy: Bookshop.org | Amazon..com

 

Wol-vriey’s latest is so nutty that readers might just laugh at the absurdity of it all, and that’s not a bad thing.  It’s a merry-go-round of horror craziness, like his last one.

 

Maryanne Wilson wants to get pregnant, but her poor, overworked husband Bob simply doesn’t have the energy for bedroom fun.  So, she turns to her neighbor (who of course happens to be a witch) for a demon sex charm.  That works until an argument with Bob ends in her accidental death.  Unfortunately, the charm causes Bob to have sex with her corpse, which makes him leery of calling the cops.  So, he enlists the help of another neighbor (who of course is a top-level computer hacker) to dispose of the body and come up with a viable explanation.  Naturally, nothing goes right for Bob.  Ashley, the hacker, is a psychotic sadist who wants payment in pain, the corpse won’t stay dead, and there’s the matter of the little blue demon who eats everyone he finds.  It’s a tragic comedy of errors for everyone involved.

 

Enjoying this means not taking it too seriously, as Bob constantly makes boneheaded decisions that no rational person would.  While skipping details to avoid spoilers, let’s say Bob probably could have got out of his mess in less painful ways.  Plus, this must be some apartment building, as it has a witch with real powers and an ace computer whiz with government connections under the same roof.  Who knew they were this common?  That’s why it’s important to remember, none of that matters in this type of fiction.  It’s meant to be fun and not taken too seriously, much like some of the pulp writing of yesteryear.  And, fun this is.

 

As always with this author, the book speeds along, with no deep soliloquies or wasted time.  Despite the pain and gore that show up (and, if you’ve read Wol-vriey before, this isn’t as brutal as some of his other works) the book still has a somewhat lighthearted touch compared to some of his darker, more ‘serious’ efforts.  The little blue demon goes a long way towards keeping this from getting too ugly: it’s such an obnoxious eating machine that you have to chuckle at it, and its final fate is hilarious.  Some of Ashley’s ridiculously painful ideas of a good time (and her amusing notes afterwards) also keep the story trending that way.  Quite over the top, but still entertaining.

 

Bottom line?  This isn’t a book to terrify readers, or bowl them over with its profound nature.  It’s just big, goofy horror fun, and should keep the author’s fans happy until the next one.

 

Reviewed by Murray Samuelson

 

Posted on February 26, 2024 by , Reply

Book Review: Suck-U-Bus (New Adult Occult) by S.C. Mendes and Nikki Noir

cover art for Suck-U-Bus by S.C. Mendes and Nikki Noir

Suck-U-Bus (New Adult Occult) by S.C. Mendes and Nikki Noir

Blood Bound Books, 2023

ISBN: 9781940250588

Available::Paperback, KIndle edition

Buy: Amazon.com

 

 

This dark and crazy heavy metal horror is the first book co-written by two very good authors, S.C. Mendes and Nikki “Spleaze Queen” Noir.  The plot line is excellent:  a nice tweaking of the classic “we sold our souls for rock n’ roll’  trope.  How does it fare?  Well…make no mistake, it’s good, it just never feels like the overdrive gear kicks in and blows you away, which is what both authors do.

 

The band Suck-U-Bus (succubus), led by three women called the Mothers, promote their legend online and at shows.  After each show, three lucky winners get a meet-and -greet on the tour bus…with a demon, and they must have, um, carnal relations with it.  That’s the price for the band’s success.  The demon makes them famous, but needs to indulge in his devilish desires after each show.  Lisa Hummer and her brother Danny go to the show, and Danny gets chosen. Next thing, he is following the band everywhere, but NOT doing well.  Alarmed, Lisa goes after him, learning as she goes about the misfortunes of prior backstage winners.  In the process, she gets pulled into the dark legend-or-reality-that is Suck-U-Bus.

 

Those are the basics.  As far as writing, the two authors work well together.  It’s a good blend of the darkness Mendes usually brings to his writing, with the over-the-top insanity of Noir..  The pacing is decent, the story just never quite explodes all over the pages.  There is some real cleverness to it, though.  Lisa’s doubts about the reality of what is happening demonstrate this: is all the demon stuff true, or is this one of the best metal hoaxes ever, a gimmick to get money by using fake exorcisms and possessions? It’s over too soon, but the book does put together a nice final section and a banger of an ending: the final demon confrontation felt like classic Nikki Noir all the way.

 

Bottom line: it’s a decent collaboration, but I suspect the authors can pull a better one out of their trick bag. Let’s hope they do another.  Fun error: the song in the book should have been ‘Necropedophile,’ not ‘Necropedilia.’   Like the authors, I also happen to be quite familiar with the Cannibal Corpse discography.  Recommended. (The book. Well, the music too!)

 

Reviewed by Murray Samuelson

 

Posted on January 24, 2024 by , Reply
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